Day 1: The wide universe is the ocean I travel

Laura here...

We made it!  After waking VERY early this morning, driving to church, driving to the airport, flying to Miami, hanging out in the Miami airport for a bit, and then flying to Haiti...we really did make it.  I have to say that, as long as the trip was, it was also surprisingly painless and full of good conversation and company.  The people on this trip are just incredibly fantastic.  What an amazing group of thoughtful, experienced, knowledgeable and compassionate people.

I am realizing as I am starting to write this and talking to Michelle - my roommate for this evening -- that it is going to be both very challenging and very wonderful to attempt to blog about this experience.  This experience is so very "big" and almost overwhelming (for me), it's hard to put words to the thoughts and feelings that arise.  This is not at ALL negative, but as a thoughtful, contemplative person who likes to take her time in thinking, discussing, and processing, it's a lot to put together all at once.  I apologize, then, if this seems disjointed - know that it is only because I can't find a way (yet) to put it all together into a coherent picture.

I knew before I left that I had no framework for beginning to imagine what I would be experiencing -- and that is exactly the challenge.  It feels a bit like taking the 1,000 piece puzzle of the world you have pieced together through 29 years of experience, and mixing it all up only to realize that an entirely different picture will emerge when you put it together again. 

I had an amazing moment on the plane from Miami to Port-au-Prince.  I had been listening to my music shuffled on my phone -- a wide selection of everything from Turkish hip-hop, to Pink, to the Indigo Girls.  I spent most of the plane ride reading (Mountains Beyond Mountains is HIGHLY recommended -- Rae, Liz and I are all reading it currently and are so inspired!), but as we were just beginning to be able to see land and come down from the clouds, I looked out the window at this incredible view just as "Blue Boat Home" by Peter Mayer began to play.  In that moment, I was struck by how incredibly small I am, in spite of how Very Important it all feels in the day-to-day.  I was also struck simultaneously in an overwhelming way with how vast, beautiful, hopeful - and also devastating, and devastated -- our world can be. 

"The wide universe is the ocean I travel/And the Earth is my blue boat home."

******

Arriving in Haiti, we waited for quite a long time to get through customs.  As opposed to the orderly lines and rules of the Washington, DC and Miami, we were herded into some semblance of a....well a herd.  A nice little clump, that then bottle-necked into a tiny little hallway-type-thing where the Passport Stamping Man, who was Very Serious about his passport stamping and piece-of-paper-giving stamped the passport and sent us on to the next line.  It was interesting to talk to other people arriving in Haiti -- lots of church groups coming to build churches.  I'm still trying to work out how I feel about this.  In talking with Liz, I said that I question what their intention is in coming -- although I acknowledge and completely own that this may sound judgmental.  Liz, in her wisdom, said, "I'm still trying to work out exactly what my intention is."  And I think that's right, too.  For me, right now, it's more of a feeling than an actual thing I can put words to, but I hope to come to an answer. 

The really excellent part of the long customs line was that it enabled the group from First Unitarian Church of Baltimore (FUCB) to catch up with us Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Columbia (UUCC) folks, so we were all able to navigate the remainder of the airport together.

And what a challenge that was.  I'm still not entirely sure what happened - I just know that I was very grateful for Carla, and for Kevin, and for the fact that all of us -- and miraculously all of our luggage -- ended up in a van (with the luggage balanced precariously on top).

The drive to our hotel is difficult for me to find words to describe -- we are driving out of Port-au-Prince tomorrow and to Hinche, and I'm hoping I find some clarification, or at least some words, then.  Things I saw:

A chicken.

Lots of walls, in various states of construction and disarray, partitioning off little squares of land.  Some of these little squares consisted only of rubble.  Some had children playing soccer.  Some had a make-shift tent constructed.  Many we couldn't see inside.  The tops of some of the walls were covered in spirals of barbed wire.

We passed a school, with Mickey Mouse painted on the wall outside.  Mickey is an eternal and universal favorite, no?  

A beautifully dressed family, with a young woman walking across the rubble in the road in white heels. 

A small boy playing with a group of children, wearing only a t-shirt and blue underwear.

People selling onions.

Really unclear rules of the road, and a car that was either really close to us, or we were really close to it. 

The hotel, though, is really quite gorgeous.  I would have had no idea we were turning into such a beautiful place from the road.  After some time to settle into our rooms, Michelle and I had a long conversation on the porch (with a chatty kitty who joined us!) about everything from learning to trust your intuition, to ecofeminism to psychologies of liberation...and then joined the group for a delicious dinner and wonderful conversation.

Now, I have just learned the intense concentration it takes when brushing your teeth to NOT reach for the tap, and instead to use your bottled water to rinse your toothbrush and your mouth (it's harder than you think!).  It's 9:21 in Port-au-Prince, and this traveler is ready for sleep.

I find myself returning to the words from "Blue Boat Home:"

Sun, my sail and moon, my rudder

as I ply the starry sea.

Leaning over the edge in wonder

casting questions into the deep.

Drifting here with my ship's companions

all we kindred pilgrim souls

making our way by the lights of the heavens

in our beautiful blue boat home. 

Thanks for being part of the journey with us.